snuffles
I am sick. Again. This will be cold #3 within the past 6 weeks. Not cool.
I got sick during finals week. Then again on winter break. And now, again, the first week of school.
I guess my good luck at being cold free for over a year has met its match.
School has been decent. Actually, I think I may like it! I know, foreign concept compared to last semester. From my scanty knowledge, the classes are much more interesting. I enjoy things that are useful and these classes are way more applicable.
Surgery lab was the most fun. I really liked being able to actually touch things! Like real instruments and learning how to scrub up. We learned how to tie surgical knots. It was hard for me, but in my defense the instructions weren't prime.
It went like this:
"This goes over here. No, over here. Drop this one. No, this one. Put that under, no, here not..not, no, over here. And drop, NO! Hold the strand!"
Needless to say my friends taught me the knots later without much duress.
I've done some re-prioritizing for this semester. My big decision has been to reduce work hours. I had been doing 15-27 hours a week at work. As I went through my schedule for this semester I began to realize that I just don't have enough hours in the day. After some serious deliberation, since I really love that job, I decided to cut back.
I now will be a sub, which means I still get to work but I won't be on the schedule. I will just fill in when I have the time. Though I will miss being in the kitchen I am happy with my choice and think it will be better for me overall. Last semester was awful and I have no desire to repeat it.
One thing I've been coming to recognize that it is ok NOT to run at 110% all the time, full speed. I can't be super woman and I need to be ok with that.
You have to recognize that I have never quit anything. I was valedictorian of my class, won several scholarships and awards, was vice president and then president of an honor society, participated in and won pageants, have over 1,600 hours of volunteer experience, worked part time all through undergrad, worked 2-3 jobs during the summer, did genetic research, was a senior member of a dance company in a major metropolitan area, and yadda yadda blah. I've been used to doing everything all the time.
Lately I think it's been necessary for me to take a step back and say: hey, I need some time for me. I just need to sit a while.
I have difficulty doing that. I get bored, I feel like I should be doing something. That I don't deserve the free time. That there's just so much to be done, resting is for lame-os. But school has been so intense that I just need an escape hatch, some time to rest and be alone.
I'm just so exhausted. Last semester around exams I would stay up to 11 or 12 and wake up at 3 am to study. All I would do is study, work, school, and sleep. It worked well enough and my grades were decent but it ran me down.
I will miss my pay! Last semester I made almost $1600, I paid for all my groceries, utilities, and gas. I was proud of myself for being somewhat self sufficient. But I will trade the $1600 for not having a heart attack this semester.
If I really tried my little heart out, I could work at the same level. But I'd really like some down time right now. I think I've earned it. I've worked there for over a year, plus working at the clinic, plus school. Phew. I'm looking forward to a little bit of rest.
Hopefully these new changes will help me stop being sick. Maybe I'll even enjoy school more. I'd like to manage my study time better too.
It blows my mind that soon I will get the whole weekend off! I used to work Sundays. Man, now I can study Saturday AND Sunday. Spiffy!
On a sad note, I've poked my head out of the sand and have learned of the earthquake in Haiti. It is awful. I wish there was something I could do to help. It scares me to think that it could happen anywhere. Via 6 degrees of separation, I've been affected by it. My sister has a friend, his girlfriend was in a 7 story building that collapsed. She was helping in an orphanage. Another volunteer in that orphanage died in the rubble. She was only a little older than my sister. Very sad, very freaky, and my thoughts go out to her family and all those who have yet to learn of missing friends/family members.
Be thankful for all that you have.
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