the DVM life - Doctor of Veterinary Medicine

Today was a fun day. (Well after I finally got to school. It was -4 degrees this morning and my car was frozen over. There was even ice on the freaking inside of my windows. Which I couldn't scrape because my scraper was too flat for the concave surface. So I had to sit there and defrost for 15 minutes. While my breakfast froze to the roof of my car. And on the way to school it was negative 12 degrees. When I walked to class my nose hairs froze).

Anyways...

Today was fun because I got to study with my friends at Starbucks off campus (since we were in a section that didn't have the lab). We had a good time and made lots of jokes about action potentials (neuroscience) and studied for the quiz that day.

School is a-buzz with the class of 2013 candidates coming to interview. I vividly remember being in their shoes. Being nervous, wondering what the interview would be like, being in awe of the actual vet students, wondering if I would make the cut. It was a nice reminder of where I've been and how far I've come.

The place where they store the waiting applicants is pretty central to classes, so we get to walk by and see the newbies. I like talking to them. Some of them are happy and excited. More of them are jittery and nervous. They have to write an essay while waiting, so a handful of them are furiously scribbling things down on a clip board. Ahhh, I remember that.

I'm kind of shallow and have a critical eye for interview attire (I've been very well trained in appropriate attire. I was a knock-out business woman for my interview - when I walked in they actually said "Wow, that's a great suit!") So I have high standards for what to wear to such an important interview.

My stance is that an applicant is there to impress the committee and should take every step possible to do so. Sure, you should be judged on your intellect and capabilities alone. But face it, impressions are important. Leave a good one - not a half assed one. So my lab mates have heard a stream of interview outfit critique.

Some basic things. Do the sit test. Make sure your hems are long enough. For God's sake, if you're wearing a skirt sit accordingly. Don't have hair falling into your eyes. Cut your nails. Don't slouch. Looking like you're at a Trump board room meeting and carry youself like a future doctor.

Ok, off soap box. It's just that I took my interview seriously and I'm embarrassed for people who don't.

Anyhoo, so it was nice to see all the newbies! It's a magical thing to be on the other side of the fence. In the evening there was a pizza mixer! I remember going to that last year. I didn't really know anyone. It was crowded and I couldn't tell who were students and who were applicants. I kind of stood in a corner and tried to talk to people. Then some first years came along and talked to me! I asked them all sorts of questions like how they liked school, if it was as scary as people say, where they lived. It was cool and I was in awe. They were livin' the dream.

Now I'm that student! I made sure to talk to everyone who was standing in a corner looking lost. I tried to set them at ease, make them feel better about the process, let them know that the light on the end of the tunnel is as good as it looks.

The mixer was held at a large meeting space with windows overlooking the campus and the vet med parking lot. As I was talking I looked outside and remembered one year ago. It was also cold. We had a difficult time just finding the vet med parking lot. I was there with my red backpack, interview clothes inside from my interview earlier, holding my coat and a can of rootbeer. The whole school looked foreign and I hoped they would let me in! I wondered if I would get to come back next year and share my stories with the next cycle....

I would like to come back as a second year, a third year, and a fourth year! It's such a poignant reminder of how much work, hope, and anxiety went into the whole process. If I had to lay words towards this emotion, I would hesitantly suggest a mix of pride for all the work I put in, gratitude for this opportunity to live my dream, and excitement for the next group to coming to their full circle. I should take a breath and just be thankful of where I am. I know there's a whole pool of applicants who would love to experience this unique nostalgia, one year from now.

It's truly a full circle. Last year I received my invitation to interview on Chinese New Year. Not any new year, it was *my* year --- year of the Rat. Now today is Chinese New Year again and I'm reflecting back on the process. A magical year indeed and I am see I have been very blessed.

Last night I went to the store around 9pm to get some groceries. It's freaking cold here and it was around 25 degrees F outside.

I'm in line and the guy behind me is buying boxes of Popsicles. I make my purchase, head out to the car (I'm wearing cleats on my boots to keep from falling in parking lot ice) and start the engine.

Out comes the guy, walking out in front of cars, immersed in the task of opening his boxes of Popsicles. It's 25 degrees and they guy wants a Popsicle. Weird, weird, weird.

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Today I go into work and it hits me: working in a kitchen is a lot like working in a clinic. It's fast paced, crowded, noisy, you go home smelling like work and you're on your feet all the time. The major difference is that the kitchen smells much better and you don't have to euthanize anything. It's also nice not to have people sobbing about their dog just dying. And if you're lucky you go home with free cookies.

For example: today I was making 300+ cookies, working with dough, setting it in the oven, listening to my timer, dodging the washers, moving out of the way so people can grab equipment, keeping in mind which pans were hot, listening to 2 kids of annoying music at the same time, and prepping my next dish.

At the clinic I'm: nexting the room, then debriefing the doctor, restraining the animal while listening to instructions, remembering which items I need to stock, moving out of the way so people can grab equipment, and attempting to answer the phone.

I think working in the kitchen will help me adapt to pressure/fast paced environments. At least I hope so! I can see how it might be overwhelming for people who haven't' been exposed to that sort of thing. And if not, at least I get some free cookies.

Now I'm back at school! I arrived late last night after a 6.5 hour car trip with my rabbit as co-pilot.

Today was our first day of the semester. It was a really nice day for me because it was such a contrast to the very first day of vet school ever.

On the first day ever, I didn't know anyone hardly at all (except from the nice orientation, but lets face it, there's no way to get acquainted with 96 people in 2.5 days!). On the first day ever I had no idea where I was going. I had no idea what who my professors were, what classes were like, or where to find basic things. I couldn't even find the grocery stores in town. On the very first day I came back home to a pile of boxes in a brand new place.

Which is why this "first" day was so nice. For starters I knew how to get to school and where to park. I knew where my class was. I was happy to see my friends and catch up about the break. I was glad to sit with them and laugh at our inside jokes. We've had enough to time to build up inside jokes :) It was nice to go into LA anatomy and have some memory of SA anatomy to help me along. I knew my professors and we chatted about our Christmas break and their kids. The lady in the office knew my name and asked how my job was going. Wow! Talk about coming to a place that feels homey. I came home to my lovely little abode, just the way I like it. This "first day" was as nice as a bowl of hot soup on a cold day. (which is what I had for dinner, BTW)

Then I spent $300 on books. Margh.

What am I taking? LA anatomy, Physiology, Immunology, Neuroscience, Nutrition...and I think there was something else. So far I like all my instructors. The ones I've seen before I've enjoyed and the new ones (so far) seem to have a nice lecture style.

All in all, it was a great first day. Lets see how day 3 goes...which is when we get our large animal cadavers and we were cautioned to get rubber boots to avoid the copious amounts of bodily and embalming fluid we'd encounter. Sounds stinky.

So a fair bit of time has passed since my last post. What happened after that?

Around that time we finished up the last wave of exams before finals. I had the good anatomy score, an 85 in histology and 98 in cell phys. All in all, I was quite pleased.

Then there was Thanksgiving Break. It was great. I got to fly home, see my family, catch up with people at the clinic, eat delicious foods and sleep in. It was a very nice week. Then I flew back and got to work.

School was fairly busy. Instead of spending Black Friday shopping (ha, I've never done that) I finished up some papers.

We had a group presentation, in which we opted to make a cute movie. We ended up doing a vet school version of "The Office" and it was well received. I love doing the more creative projects. They just seem like less work.

Finals rolled around and I was getting tired of school and a little cranky. Because my previous scores were good enough I didn't have to majorly stress over finals. I think I only had to hit 50% on my finals to pass with the needed averages.

Of course I didn't just flake out like that!! I ended up studying a lot, as usual. Finals week approached and I did get a little stressed out. Only because:

a) I started a part time job the week before finals (assistant pastry chef)
b) Had to work a 10hr shift the day before a final
c) The weather decided to dump snow and get friggin cold (like 0 degrees F)

But finals went well anyhow. Remember how I wanted to make histo flash cards weeks before the exam? Yeah. Well that didn't happen... and due to timing of finals I gave myself a mere 36 hours to study 4+ weeks of histology material. Due to caffeine and the grace of the guys above, I actually did much better than expected and pulled an 86, with an overall average around 88.

The anatomy final was the first one and it was good. I spent the most time on that, at least around 20-30 hours a week for the previous 2 weeks. I came out with an overall grade of 84, which included the embryology portion.

Finally we ended with cell physiology. I still don't know my score but it clearly was good enough to pass according to my grade report. The teacher we had for the last segment really got on my nerves -- I really disliked her "teaching style". It's in quotes because I didn't learn anything from her at all. At ALL. And the 26 page final was just annoying. But oh well, that's all over with.

After finals I had some friends over for dinner. We watched a movie and pooped out before we could start decorating our gingerbread house. Eh, we'll just do that next year.

It snowed quite a bit, I think the total now is well over 4 feet. Temps haven't been above freezing for several weeks and there were many days were it was a high around 10 and lows of 0, with wind chill pushing it below 0.

After another shift at the bakery I waited a day for the weather to improve and drove home. My car told me it was -12 outside. Without windchill. Thankfully I had a good (albeit long) drive back and have since been enjoying my Christmas break! I've gotten to work at the clinic, see some old friends, and have time with family.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

I just got done with my "intro to clinics" and spent some time in the exotics ward today. I have a slight interest in exotics, but only specific exotics. I love rabbits, GPs, gerbils, rats and mice. I don't like birds, snakes, lizards, turtles, or most wildlife. Not that I don't enjoy them, I just don't find it rewarding to work with them. I don't really connect with them and the time I spent at a Wildlife shelter negatively influenced me with those animals. I do like ducks still though.

What did I get to do, you ask? Well! It was very interesting! I got to trim Budgie feathers. I learned the difference between primary and secondary feathers, and more importantly learned how to hold a small bird. I didn't quite get the hang of it at first and the Budgie bit me. It hurt as bad as getting your finger stuck in a stapler. Painful in an annoying way that could potentially
get worse. One of my classmates works in the ward and it was cool of her to show us the birds. The head tech did a fantastic job and I'm totally impressed with her. She can handle eagles. How many people can say that?

I also saw 2 types of eagles, several kinds of hawks, owls, and a kestrel. One reason I don't like working with birds is because they can really hurt you bad. Those talons man, they're nothing to mess with. Another reason I don't like working with birds (domestic or wildlife) is because I feel bad for them being stuck in those rooms. Really, they're quite nice rooms that are well maintained, large, and the birds are well cared for and fed. But I just feel so terrible that they cannot soar over the sky, as I feel they were meant to. It's, I know, a little awful to say but death seems better than never feeling your life's purpose.

I saw some goldfish radiographs and ultrasounds. Yes, there are people who will spend money to give their fish an ultrasound. Let me tell you: you can buy a whole lot of new fish for what that ultrasound would cost. So that was nice to see that people really go to those lengths. Mostly I am familiar with people whining and moaning over the cost of a vaccine and office call. But anyways, it was cool to see the swim bladder show up on the images.

I also saw some beak trims for some neat little brightly colored birds, and some nail trims as well. Oh, and there were also quite a few cute little squirrels there too! The one thing I do not enjoy about squirrels is how sharp their claws are. They can really dig into you, and they move very fast. So you can get real scratched up real fast. (From my experience handling several squirrels). Perhaps there is a better way, I'm sure there is. But I haven't learned it yet.

Last but not least was the rabbit with GI stasis. They were feeding him some critical care mixed with meds, followed with fluids. It was nice to see that the things I know are indeed practiced and useful knowledge. I am most experienced with rabbits (outside of cats and dogs) so it was neat to "talk some shop" about rabbits.

All in all it was interesting. It didn't quite rock my world, but I'd like to go back another time and check it out.

Anatomy exams came back today! I was pretty nervous about it - I did alright on the last one but really wanted to improve....and I DID!! The average was 83 and I got 85. Go me!! Not that the average matters, all that matters is passing. But I am proud of improving my score and demonstrating more anatomy knowledge.

But seriously, I was a little freaked out. The exam wasn't what I was expecting and I had to make some guesses. So I had the typical vet student worries that go a little something like this:

"Oh my god, what if I failed that test? And I can't make up for it on the final? And then I fail the class? They'll kick me out. And I'll have failed out of vet school in my first semester. What a looser! And I'll have moved over here and bought a trailer for nothing. And then I'll have to tell my family and they'll be so mad at me and think I suck. Then I'll get a job here since I'll be too ashamed to go back home, and I'll spend the rest of my life in this town working at the grocery store, living in a trailer. For ever. Man, this is not good."

Seriously, that ran through my mind a few times - though I really try to keep a positive attitude. And I know that some of my classmates had similar thoughts. And the school's psychologist says so too. Very common indeed. Aren't we just a lot of over-achieving nut cases?

Anyhoo, so I am very thankful to have done so well on the exam. Now I can breathe again. For a little while at least ;) the cell phys exam comes back in the next week supposedly and there's a histo exam Monday. But screw that. I'm HAPPY!!! And freakin proud of me. I can do it! I AM doing it! Woohoo!!! It's nice to get some positive validation. Thank you, universe. Seriously. Thank you!

See, if you've noticed, a lot of the time spent on this blog is agonizing over tests. Which is a pretty good representation of vet school itself. Have I mentioned animal handling? No. Because I don't even get to touch live animals for a few more years. Yes, years.

But I'm too happy to be grumpy about that now. Go me, I rock!

The title of the blog is accurate. As soon as I got my exam back, I was jumping up and down, yelling "I don't suck!! I don't suck!!"

Nothing like getting positive results for something you've put a lot of effort into. Pleased as punch. Pleased as punch, indeed.

Well, my internet has been broked for about a week+ so you've missed out on the oh so exciting details of my life. Ha.

Monday was an embryology exam. Embryology is a pain in the ass. Like prison style - not a good thing.

I had a cell phys exam Tuesday, which I hope went passably well. I think I did fine, but we shall see. I really liked the prof we had and his teaching style sunk into my brain well. Our upcoming prof for cell phys has a wicked fun sense of humor and I hope I enjoy her style. She seems to have a bit more complicated set of slides...

Anatomy exam. It was a hellish week. I was feeling really good but the test was way more on neural stuff than I had anticipated. Way more. Which is very unfortunate, since I rocked an the arteries. I'm so disappointed they didn't test more on that. I had so much more I wanted to show them that I knew!!

Many people weren't jazzed about that exam. I really, really, really hope I passed. Seeing how I passed the other one (with only colors, certainly not flying colors) I can't really afford to bomb one. Friday should be an exciting day, hopefully in a good way.

And then Histology is coming up. Agh. So right now, if you were to ask me about my feelings on vet school I would say: vet school sucks. I hate studying, I hate feeling stupid, I hate feeling inadequate even after hours of studying, and I hate thinking that I might feel this way for 4 years. I hate the lack of hands on activities, and I hate not working with real, live animals. Damn it.

On the bright side, my weekend kicked ass. It was Halloween but I didn't really celebrate it (did the vet school party the week before). My best friend visited and it was absolutely wonderful. I hadn't seen him since I left in August -- so around a full 2 months. Previous to that we'd only ever been apart 2 weeks max, so as you can guess I missed him like crazy.

He flew in early Friday afternoon and after I got un-stinky (from anatomy lab exam) we went out to dinner at the nice place in town. I actually got to dress up, which I hadn't done in forever. I had raspberry lemonade and tasty southwest chicken wraps. We spent the evening talking, and we fell asleep early since we were both exhausted.

The next day we went to the next town over. My toothbrush, the electric kind, had broken and I wanted to get a new one from Costco. First we stopped by the farmers market and Co-op. We got some *delicious* chocolate cake. My friend loved it, and I was glad since he enjoys so few foods. Then onto Costco, snagging a new brush and some mass-quantity foods. We parked it at the Applebys there and he watched a football game. Then we made our way back, and got home to find out that my old toothbrush wasn't working only because my breaker threw a fuse. Ha. So then we decided to take a nap before heading out to dinner.

Dinner was at the new pizza joint in town. It was not good. At least what I had. He said the pizza was nice. The lasagna and shake were terrible. He had a great time catching another football game - which I even found a little interesting too. Afterwards we walked the shopping center and returned home to snooze early.

Daylight savings time was awesome! We woke early the next day and took the time to chat between falling asleep again. It was so good to talk to him. There's no one I'm familiar with out here -- and I have 8 years of history with him. It was so good to be with someone I've missed so much. For breakfast we went back for more chocolate cake and orange juice. No, I'm not 200 lbs.

We made our way back to Costco to return the toothbrush, on account of my being stupid. But at least I got to pick up some extra goods - frozen chicken breasts, artichoke hearts, frozen egg rolls.

By this time he was having some allergies from only the lord knows what. So I figured some fresh air would do him good. We went hiking at a nice place I discovered. It's a 3.5 mile loop with great views and it's a good climb but not too steep. His allergies cleared and he felt a lot better. We headed home for a shower and packing, after a little nap.

I won't see him for another 4 months, so I spent a little time crying today as I took him to the airport. I do hate crying -- it's not pretty on me. I get all red-eyed and my nose runs like crazy. I tried hard not to cry but I did anyways and he was very kind about it.

All in all, terrible week but the weekend more than made up for it. He encouraged me to get more hard-ass about school, as much as I'm disliking it at the moment. Plans are in the works for a trip together during spring break - perhaps Disneyland and southern California. I miss him already but we did have a great time together.

6 weeks left of semester 1. My goal: to really kick some ass. 6 weeks isn't that long, I can do it.